So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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