started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
