Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
