Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize
