My friends, they love my intelligence
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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