i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Randomize
