the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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