New invention idea: vibrating tampons
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
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