i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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