Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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