One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
