How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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