So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I got her a Nickelback box set.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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