That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
