Kiss
Puke
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
