theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Randomize
