69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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