I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Randomize
