so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
