Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
