All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
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