I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
