i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
