I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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