I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
