So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize
