Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
