...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
