guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
