Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
