No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
