So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
