i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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