its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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