there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Dick very happy bro
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
