I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize