saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
