we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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