Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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