you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I cut my penus on the lid.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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