Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Randomize