lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
