I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
