Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
