he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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