Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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