But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
