The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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