So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
