Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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