i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
