i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
