I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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