do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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