I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
