I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
