that's an acceptable place to lick
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
