I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
