They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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