i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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