You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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