Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
