I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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